


White Flag

by CharmingProcrastinator



Category: Daredevil (TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Besotted Frank, Did I mention fluff?, F/M, Fluff Alert, Frank finished his war, POV Frank Castle, Set after S1 of The Punisher, Soft and Conflicted Frank, and screw the rest, kastle - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-24 20:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22043857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharmingProcrastinator/pseuds/CharmingProcrastinator
Summary: Frank comes to terms with his feelings about Karen while taking a break from their daily lives.
Relationships: Frank Castle/Karen Page
Comments: 15
Kudos: 98
Collections: kastlechristmas2k19





	White Flag

**Author's Note:**

  * For [carrythesky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrythesky/gifts).



> Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Carrythesky! I'm your secret Santa! I hope you like this fic, because I truly love yours! Have a bit of fluff to finish the year with a smile!

“What you need, is to get out of the city for a bit,” proclaimed David Lieberman as he handed Frank a beer. Frank grunted his thanks.“I’m taking Sarah and the kids to my family’s cottage for three weeks next month," he went on. "You should join us for a few days. Get some fresh air, a change of scenery…”

Though the thought of escaping New York for a few days sounded good, Frank felt a bit uneasy about the invitation. Sunday night dinners at the Liebermans were one thing, inserting himself into their family vacation was quite another.

Feeling his hesitation, Sarah chimed in. “What David is not telling you, is that he needs you to come so you can help him fix the staircase that leads to the lake.” Frank snorted.

“Well, thanks for that completely selfless invitation, then. If I say no, what’s going to happen to that staircase?”

“David will try to rebuild it by himself to save face in front of his father and his brother-in-law, and get us all killed in the process.”

“C’mon Frank… You’d be doing me a favour, and I’d be repaying you at the very same time. The cottage has plenty of room, and it’s by this amazing lake.”

Frank’s interest was piqued, but he was still feeling a bit uneasy.

“The kids won’t mind at all, you know that. Leo will talk your ear off about books, as usual, and Zach will be happy to have you to toss the football around… Apparently, my arm sucks, all the sudden. It was good enough before you came along, but…”

Still, the thought of being the odd man out in the family’s vacation left him a bit uneasy, despite the fact that David and Sarah, and even the kids, had made it clear to him that he was family now… Speaking of family… His thoughts suddenly turned to someone he knew was very much in need of a vacation.

“Could I… would there be room if I brought Karen along?”

“Of course!” David replied, looking entirely too delighted at the prospect. More worrisome was the fact that Sarah was nodding emphatically, with suspicious enthusiasm. God knows what David has told his wife about Frank and Karen. They had been begging him to bring her to dinner for a few weeks now, and Curtis had asked to meet her to, but Frank hadn’t been able to bring himself to introduce her to any of them yet. The thing was, he couldn’t exactly define what Karen was to him… and he didn’t want other people to define their relationship before he could.

He and Karen had a connection, there was no denying that. After the showdown with Rawlins and Russo, after Frank had had the time to finally explain to his friend what exactly had happened in the hotel with Lewis, Curtis had encouraged him to reach out to Karen, to stay in touch with the Liebermans, to not slip back into a life of isolation. He’d done both of those things, which resulted in almost weekly dinners at the Liebermans, and early morning coffee or occasional beer, takeout and truly atrocious TV shows with Ms. Page.

It was during one of those beer and takeout nights that Frank broached the subject. The bags under the reporter’s eyes just confirmed that he was about to do the right thing in inviting her. The woman was working herself into the ground these days. Karen, unsurprisingly, responded to the invitation very much the same way Frank had initially. The pleasant prospect of getting out the city for a bit was warring against the potential awkwardness of not only inserting herself into another family’s summer vacation, but a family of strangers at that. But Frank was able to overcome her objections pretty easily.

“So what you’re saying is that it’s like a four-way quid pro quo… You’re helping the Liebermans with some maintenance work, they thank you by letting you enjoy their fancy pants cabin by the lake, you’re inviting me so you don’t feel too much like a fifth wheel while you’re there, and I get a four-day getaway in return for acting as your awkwardness buffer,” she summarized while handing him a beer before joining him on her couch.

“Pretty much,” he replied, clinking his bottle against hers. They drank in companionable silence for a moment before she declared “Ok, what the hell, I’m in. I’ll ask for the time off but…”

“But nothing. Ellison owes you way more vacation than you’ll be asking for, so don’t even think about letting him try to guilt you for taking some time off,” he growled, knowing it amused her when he got all protective about her well-being.

Karen didn’t reply, but she did flash him one of those bright smiles that always left him smiling back, yet having to look away.

“Ok.”

“Ok?” he replied, as was expected of him.

“Ok,” she finished what he had come to think of as “their bit”.

And so it was that a few weeks later, Frank found himself waiting for Karen to join him and the Liebermans at the latter’s cottage. He had driven up with David in a rented van loaded with the wood and the tools they’d need to rebuild the stairs. Sarah and the kids had arrived the day before, and Karen was slated to arrive two days later, having managed to secure her Thursday and Friday off to enjoy a long weekend at the cabin.

The cabin was magnificent. During the drive, David had explained that it belonged to his grandfather, who passed it down to David’s father and his sister, who in turn passed it down to David, David’s brother and their two cousins. The entire extended family shared the cabin, and there was a family calendar that was used to jot down which branch of the family had the cabin for which sets of weeks, which dates should be reserved for family reunions, etc. David, being deemed the craftiest one of the family (and Frank had not bothered suppressing a snort at that tidbit) had been granted an extra summer week in exchange for fixing the steps.

It turned out that the stairs were in worse shape than the Liebermans had thought. The wood was rotted almost all the way through; fixing it was out of the question, the whole thing had to be rebuilt. Frank didn’t mind, though. Idleness was never his friend, and the last few years had done nothing to change that, if he was quite honest. Having something to focus both his mental and physical his energy on, while still being able to enjoy the fresh country air was ideal. And maybe the planning involved in building rather than just fixing would help quell the mix of nerves and anticipation he felt at the thought of Karen’s impending arrival. Of what it might mean to bring two separate branches of the most important people in his life together. Of being in Karen’s presence outside the tidy realm of takeout over beers at her apartment and breakfast in various diners around Hell’s Kitchen.

So he put all his energy on redesigning the steps during the day, taking some breaks here and there to toss a football around with Zach and Leo, or drink a beer watching the sun shining on the lake while the shooting the shit with Sarah – and answering her questions about Karen as honestly as he could while pointedly ignoring her attempts at getting him to admit that he and the reporter were more than just friends, probes that she disguised as concerns about their sleeping arrangements. He just didn’t know how to explain the way in which Karen was special to him. The way she made him feel things he had not right to feel. How, even if he could bring himself to get over his feeling of betraying Maria, he felt that Karen deserved better than him. (And yet, he also felt an agonizing burst of jealousy at the prospect of Karen striking up a romantic relationship with someone else one day.)

The morning Karen was set to arrive, Frank actually felt calmer about the whole situation. In the end, it was easier to simply be with Karen than it was to analyze his feelings for her when they were apart.

She pulled over in her car a little before lunch. Frank and all four Liebermans gathered to the front of the cottage to greet her. Frank’s stupid heart skipped a beat when Karen stepped out of her car, and he was nearly struck dumb when he realized that she was wearing shorts. He had never seen her in anything other than office appropriate attire… He could almost picture her cleaning in her apartment in pencil skirts and heels, she always looked so prim and proper. The sight of her long bare legs sent an unsettling wave of arousal through him that reminded him of being a teenager, at that awkward time when the wind blowing the wrong way would make him pop wood, and girls went from being simply girls to being… _girls_.

Karen smiled at all of them, a faint blush on her cheeks betraying a self-consciousness he had seldom witnessed from her, probably not helped by his inability to find his voice to greet her.

“Quite the welcome comity,” she said. “Hi, I’m Karen! You must be the Liebermans. Thank you so much for inviting me,” she added, extending her hand to Sarah, then to David, Frank being too slow to recover to regain his manners. Introductions were made all around, and Frank used the excuse of grabbing Karen’s bag from the backseat of her car to take a moment to compose himself. Karen had also brought some groceries along, having of course insisted on contributing to the weekend to thank the Lieberman’s for their hospitality. He spotted his favourite brand of beer amongst the goods, which made him smile and helped ground him. This was just Karen, his _friend_ Karen. They took care of each other. That’s all. No need to get all worked up like a stupid kid.

“Why don’t I give you a tour of the place?” Sarah offered eagerly, linking her arm with Karen’s. Of all the Liebermans, she was the best at hiding her curiosity about the blond reporter Frank had once called family, but that wasn’t saying much. “Frank can take your bag to your room.”

Oh, she was a sly as a fox, that Sarah, taking Karen away before Frank had a chance to discuss their rooming options. Frank had been sleeping in the only free guest bedroom of the cottage, which boasted two double beds. The plan was to ask Karen if she was okay rooming with him, and offer to sleep on the living room’s pull out couch if she wasn’t. Depositing her bags in the room without first broaching the subject of whether she preferred for him to move out felt rather like putting her in front of the _fait accompli_.

Frank sighed on his way up to the guest room. The Liebermans were not even pretending not to be playing matchmaker. That was going to get old fast.

Lunchtime came soon enough. It was a casual affair composed of sandwiches, cut up vegetables and chips. Karen unpacked her grocery bag, waving away David’s protest that she really shouldn’t have, and not missing how both Zach and Leo’s eyes lighted up when they caught a glimpse of all the ingredients meant to make s’mores, which solidified their liking of the new guest. Zach, try as he might to play it cool, was a growing boy with a growing appetite, and the way to his heart was currently very much through his stomach, it seemed.

After lunch, Zach and Leo went for a swim, while the adults sunned themselves on the dock. David, Sarah and Karen were on the way to being fast friends. Conversation was flowing, Karen seemed more and more at ease, and seeing her relax made Frank relax too. She seemed in her element here, in the outdoors, bathed in the afternoon light. So much of their time together was spent hidden either indoors, or in the cover of night. It felt nice to be able to see her with her hair flying in the breeze, made even more golden by the shining sun. He wanted to look away, admonished himself for the umpteenth time that he had no right to feel this way, no right to let himself forget his heart belonged to Maria and to Maria only, but he couldn’t help himself. Karen’s shining presence amongst the ones he considered his new family was just intoxicating.

Karen and Sarah ended up going kayaking. The water carried their laughter across the lake. “Looks like the ladies are getting along,” David remarked. Normally, Frank would have made a quip about Lieberman being the only one too annoying to get along with, but something about the man’s tone told him that his friend was not just making conversation, so he kept quiet and waited for him to go on. “I think Sarah is happy to have another woman around who… Well, she’s been finding it hard not to have anyone to speak with candidly of what happened when I came back. As glad as she is to have me back, the whole weirdness… Let’s just says she’s lost a few friends over this, the zombie husband, the secrecy, the whole shit show, you know?”

Frank did know. Sarah had hinted at it once or twice, when she still felt she had to convince him that they really did want him around, not just out of gratitude, but for the pleasure of his company. “Yeah… Karen has that way about her, she just comes into your life, and you wonder how there was ever a time she wasn’t around. I’m not surprised she’s already hitting it off with you guys,” he said, keeping his eyes on Karen’s form now already more than halfway across the lake.

Apparently, the time for serious discussion was over, because when Frank turned to David, the asshole was giving him a wide grin and then started to wriggle his eyebrows meaningfully, as he always did when he thought that Frank’s words about Karen betrayed some feelings that went beyond friendship. Frank extended one arm and pushed him the lake in response, eliciting cheers from Zach and Leo. Then he chugged his beer, stripped off his shirt and dove in himself, to cut Lieberman’s sputtering protestations and insults short.

The women came back and joined everyone in the water. After a while, Frank and Karen ended up chatting while threading water a little way away from the dock and the others. “Nice to know the cat gave you back your tongue,” she teased.

Frank wasn’t sure what she was talking about, until he remembered how he had been struck dumb when Karen had first arrived.

“Yeah, sorry about that, the shorts really threw me off,” he said with pretend nonchalance.

“What?” Karen replied with a chuckle.

“I didn’t think you owned anything but those skirts you wear to work.”

Karen pretended to be affronted and playfully splashed water at him. “Oh, the guy who wore a leather jacket in the biggest heatwave of the summer is going to comment on my sartorial choices, is he?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The hospital…” she said, which confused him until he remembered that Karen, unlike Frank (and much to his chagrin), considered the first time they met as that night he chased Grotto in the hospital with a shotgun.

“Can’t carry enough ammo in cargo shorts,” he quipped.

“Can’t scare people shitless in them either,” she chuckled.

“Now you’re getting it.”

Karen laughed, and he realized he was smiling like a loon at her. It never ceased to amaze him, how much she accepted him for who he was, and despite what he had done.

And just like that, like every other time he had felt a burst of happiness, especially one brought on by this thing, this pull between them (mutual affection, kinship, attraction and a million other things that he didn’t have words for), the crushing guilt came back. Karen was not Maria. Those kids laughing and eating popsicles on the edge of the dock were not his kids. How could he be here when they were not? How could he be here enjoying himself, when…

“Frank! Hey!” Karen’s voice cut through his spiral. “We can get back to the shore… Or I can go back by myself, if you need a minute, just… Stop doing this to yourself, ok?”

And of course Karen knew. She understood, she always did. Words were seldom needed between them in those moments, she could read him better than anyone, better than even Curtis.

“No, you don’t have to do that. It’s just… I wish they were here, you know? I wish I could have had all this with them. I don’t know how to feel good without it feeling wrong.”

“I know. Believe me, I get it.” Frank knew she did. She’d told him about Kevin, about the guilt that would follow her until her dying breath.

“C’mon, we should get out. I need to slap some more sunscreen on before I turn into a freckly lobster,” she added, which effectively snapped him out of his darkened mood.

He decided not to tell her that her freckles were already starting to show, mostly because the ones dotting her shoulders made him long to set his mouth there, as if to replace the sun’s kisses with his own.

Exactly the kind of stupid shit he had to get out of his damned head.

They swam back to shore, Frank pointedly trying to avoid looking at Karen’s bathing suit clad body while she towelled off and tossed on some sort of sundress. The blond went over to plop herself in a seat in the shade near the Liebermans, and was soon enlisted in helping Leo with a crossword puzzle. (Sarah apparently banned all electronics during their stay in the cottage, other than a stash of DVDs kept in the house for rainy days or family movie nights – Frank had warned Karen that her cell phone would be considered contraband, and needed to be hidden carefully.)

Despite the heat, Frank decided to go for a run to clear his head before dinner. A bit of alone time would do him good, help him recenter himself a bit and get a better grip on all the contradicting emotions this getaway was dredging up.

After his run, when he came out of the shower, dinner was already underway. David had lighted the barbecue, getting ready to cook burgers, Sarah and Karen were preparing a salad and had already opened up some wine. Sarah served him a glass and handed it to him, but thankfully did not make her usual “Don’t worry, I won’t kiss you this time,” joke.

David cooked the meat, pointedly ignoring all of Frank’s suggestions, the two of them playing their expected roles in what Sarah referred to as their Odd Couple routine, to the ladies’ great amusement. Frank didn’t think he has ever heard Karen, or even Sarah for that matter, giggle quite so much before. So maybe he laid it a bit thicker, just for the pleasure of hearing his two friends laugh some more.

After dinner, Zach and Leo prevailed on them to make a fire and dig right away in Karen’s s’mores supplies. They all sat around the fire pit on the side of the cottage, made roasted marshmallows, the works. Then David brought out the whiskey for the adults, as well as his guitar, which he thrust in Frank’s hands.

“Christ, you want me to build your stairs and entertain you too?”

“Yup! Sing for your supper, Castle.”

“I ain’t singing,” he grumbled. He could feel Karen’s stare on him, and he could feel his ears burning. His mind went to when he first met Maria, but he didn’t let himself dwell on it. He started strumming, tuning the guitar, then started on some blues number. He messed up a few times, but before long, his fingers warmed up, he managed to go through a whole song. His audience clapped, and he offered the guitar to Lieberman, but Sarah and the kids protested loudly, as David’s playing had not gotten any better since the bunker.

He played off-and-on mindlessly through the night as the conversation ebbed and flowed, everyone around the fire occasionally falling silent, hypnotized by the flames.

Eventually, they decided it was time to call it a night and stamp out the fire.

“Are you sure you don’t mind sharing the room with me?” he asked Karen as they were making their way upstairs. “I really don’t mind taking the couch.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course I don’t mind. But I will throw things at you if snore.”

“That’s more a matter of when I snore,” he replied, pointing at his nose, which made her laugh.

They each took turns getting ready for bed in the bathroom at the end of the hallway, climbed in their respective beds, then Frank turned off the light on the night stand between them. After a beat, Karen asked “So the piano, in your house… That was Maria’s instrument?”

“Yes.”

“Did you guys ever play music together?”

Frank snorted. “Not really. I’m pretty much self taught, I wasn’t really good enough to follow someone else, you know. But she’d sing when I played the guitar.”

“And the kids? Did they play?”

“Maria made Lisa take piano lessons for a bit… but she what she really wanted was to play the guitar, like me. I taught her, best as I could…”

“And Frank Jr?”

“He wanted a drum set.”

Karen chuckled at that, and so did he. She'd always had that effect on him. She made him talk about his family in a way that felt good. Still to this day, just like she had in the hospital, she helped him remember, but in a way that didn’t hurt so much.

“How about you, was your family musical at all?”

“God, no! Though Kevin once used his pocket money to buy me a ukulele he found at garage sale, kind of as a joke… I was sixteen, I guess? I was still towering over most boys in my grade, all elbows and knees, and I guess I was self-conscious about it at the time. He wanted me to learn to play it because, he said – and I quote – that it would be funny to see me with a tiny guitar in my giant sasquatch hands…God, I loved that little shit,” she added, her voice radiating an affection and a longing he understood all too well.

He turned his gaze from the ceiling. His eyes having adjusted to the dark, he could make out her profile in the moon light that peaked in through a crack in the curtains. Sensing his gaze on her, she turned her head to face him. He extended his arm towards her, and she reached out to grab his hand. They stayed like that for a good minute, staring at each other, his thumb caressing over her knuckles.

“Goodnight, Karen.”

“Goodnight, Frank.”

He let go of her hand and rolled over to his side. For once, sleep came easily.

The next morning, Frank was woken up by the sound of Karen sneaking out of their room. A quick check of his watch told him it was not even 6a.m. yet. After a beat, he stretched, and went to join Karen downstairs.

He was first greeted by the smell of coffee brewing, Karen having started a pot, then by the sight of the blond herself, still in her sleeping shorts and t-shirt, staring out the patio door at the light of the rising sun reflecting on the lake. “Hey,” he called out softly, not wanting to wake the Liebermans.

“Hey,” she replied. “Did I wake you?”

“Nah. Never been one to sleep in.” At least that last part was true.

The coffeemaker beeped, and he went to the kitchen to fix them both a cup. “Thanks,” she said, accepting a mug from him. “Look at the lake, it’s like a mirror right now,” she marvelled.

It was indeed a beautiful sight. So was she, but that was nothing new, was it?

“See that island in the middle lake? Sarah said it’s a little less than a mile away from the dock. I want to try to swim to it… But I need a spotter. Would you feel up to following me in the kayak?”

Frank shrugged. “Sure. When do you want to go?”

“Now? There’s no one else on the lake at this hour…“

“Ok. It’ll be cold, though.”

She shrugged. “I’ll be fine.”

They finished their coffee, filled up some water bottles, packed a small snack to eat once they reached the island, left a note for their hosts, then got changed and headed to the water. Karen helped him get the kayak in the water. The water was cold, but not as bad as Frank expected. Karen walked besides the kayak until the water was just below her hips, then dove under. She came back out with a bit of a gasp. She swam very slowly for a minute, needing a moment to catch her breath after the temperature shock.

“Ok, ok, I’m ready. You?”

“Ready, Ma’am. You set the rhythm, I’ll follow you.”

Karen kicked her legs a few times before settling into a steady front crawl. She was a pretty graceful swimmer, actually. When her arms tired, she switched to the breaststroke for a bit, then swam on her back, before returning to the crawl.

They made it to the island, where they brought up the kayak; Frank took out their supplies as well as Karen’s hoodie from the backpack he had carried over, and they took a seat on a large rock bathed in the light of the morning sun to give Karen a chance to warm up a bit.

“That’s quite a workout,” she said, between sips of water.

“You’re a good swimmer.”

She shrugged. “I’m alright. There were a few lakes around Fagan’s Corner. In the summer, before Mom died, Kevin and I used to go swimming almost every day. I kept swimming in college, but pool swimming is not the same, you know?”

He just grunted in response and handed her a granola bar. From the island, they could see the Lieberman’s cottage, but also some of the other houses on the lake. Their hosts’ place, despite its sizable dimensions, was the most modest one. All around the lake, life was beginning to stir. They heard a dog bark, somewhere across the water. “That’s what this weekend is missing,” Karen said. “A dog.”

“You’re a dog person, huh?”

“Of course. I'm pretty sure you are too.”

With some surprise, Frank realized he had never mentioned the pitbull he rescued from the Irish to her. So he told her the whole tale. “I have no idea what happened to that dog after Red and I got out of there… I’ve been wondering about that for years, you know. Probably got taken to the pound, and euthanized. Pitbulls with that kind of history don’t often get a happy ending.”

Karen looped an arm around his, and laid her head on his shoulder, like it was the most natural thing in the world. And maybe it was, now. “Yeah. But you never know. Some people are really devoted to rehabilitating dogs like that… Maybe he got lucky.”

“Maybe.”

“I could try to look into it, if you’d like. See if I can trace what happened to it after the cops raided the place the Irish held you in.”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t promise I’ll get anywhere, but I can give it a shot.”

Before he knew what he was doing, Frank found himself turning his head to drop a kiss on Karen’s head. The woman was an angel. (He knew better than to say this to her face, though, knew she’d bristle at that. But that didn’t make it any less true).

They stayed like this for a few more minutes, before agreeing it was time to get back, before the motorboats started invading the lake dragging water skiers behind them. He got back in the kayak, she dove in the water, and off they were.

The Liebermans were awake when they returned, in the middle of making breakfast. After they ate, Frank and David headed out to work on the stairs, Zach and Leo ran off to visit the kids in the cottage down the road, and Karen and Sarah lingered at the table over coffee a bit.

Frank had to admit, it felt good to work with his hands like this, building rather than destroying, for a change. The money David had arranged for him was more than enough to live on, but idleness didn’t sit well with Frank, so, with Curtis’s help and encouragement, he’d gone back to demo work under the name Pete Castiglione. He was good at tearing shit down. It was a great outlet for his grief and his residual rage. But out here, in the woods, surrounded by nature and friends, he found that the work he was doing was cathartic in its own way. For a moment, he let himself think of building a cabin with his own hands, nothing fancy like the Liebermans’ cottage, but just a little shack somewhere in the woods, where he’d spend time away from the city and its memories, a little place where he could go with a dog… The thought of a dog brought Karen to mind, and he could picture her making coffee over some wood stove, hair still all mussed up from sleep and wearing just his flannel shirt, and…

He was shaken out of his daydream by the sound of the screen door slapping shut behind Karen and Sarah, who had decided to come finish their coffee on the porch to enjoy the sun, and apparently, the sight of the two men hard at work, too. Before Frank even had time to start berating himself on the kinds of thought he’d been indulging in, Sarah jokingly started heckling them and shouting nonsense about their sawing and hammering techniques, while Karen was making all kinds of outlandish suggestions on what they should do to improve on their staircase. They soon dissolved into a fit of laughter, yelled a few more “helpful tips” before retreating back into the cottage to get some more coffee.

“Think they made their coffees Irish or something?” Frank asked, trying in vain to hide his amusement.

“Who knows?” David replied. “I’m starting to think bringing those two together might have been a mistake.”

By the time lunch came around, they were actually finished with the stairs. All that was left to do was sand and stain them. The kids came back, friends in tow, and Karen gave Frank a nervous look, but he calmed her down wordlessly, with a simple shake of his head. Sarah introduced him to the neighbours’ children by his fake name, and the whole Lieberman clan slipped into the lie seamlessly. Just like that, Frank became Pete and would remain so for as long as they had company.

David decided to go fishing behind the island, to try to catch something for dinner. Frank turned down an invitation to join him, not caring all that much for the “sport”, but Karen was game. Frank and Sarah watched them leave in a small motorized canoe.

“Don’t hate me for saying this, but you and Karen are really cute together.”

Frank groaned, both at the use of the word “cute”, and at the familiar direction this discussion was headed.

“Before you start arguing, hear me out: I swear I promised to myself that I’d leave you alone this weekend, that I wouldn’t comment on the nature of your relationship, but come on! Don’t think I didn’t see you guys have that entire conversation with just your eyes when the Tradewell kids got here…”

Frank could have told her that Karen and him had pretty much been able to read each other like open books almost as soon as they had met, but he figured she wouldn’t see it as a counterargument to the point she was trying to make.

“It was her, wasn’t it? Is her. The thing you found to make life worth living for?”

Frank said nothing, only begging her with his eyes to drop this. Sarah sighed. “Ok, ok, I’ll stop. For now.”

“Thank you. See? Karen’s not the only one I can communicate silently with.”

Sarah cracked up, in spite of herself. “Oh fuck off, _Pete_!”

David and Karen came back mid afternoon, having caught a few lake trout. They were quite pleased with themselves and toasted to their success with beer. Frank had to admit he was mesmerized by this playful version of Karen. He’d truly been only exposed to a tiny fraction of it before, in the form of the gentle teasing she had started to level his way as they began to see more and more of each other. But seeing her letting her hair down so freely made him feel better than he had in a long time.

God help him.

They prepared Karen and David’s catches for dinner. When they were done eating, everyone sat down to play some board games, except Frank and Leo, who opted to read instead. Frank had a hard time concentrating, though, being unable to stop himself from stealing glances at Karen, whose cheeks were flushed by the wine, and whose eyes were made brighter by her merriment at whatever game they were playing.

They all turned in early this time, the great outdoors effect having gotten to everyone. Karen, whose exhaustion was exacerbated by her long morning swim and her time spent fishing, collapsed on her bed as soon as she came back from the bathroom. Frank turned off the light and turned on his side, just as ready as she was to pass out. “Hey Frank?” she called out, voice muffled by her pillow.

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy you asked me to come.”

“Me too, sweetheart. Me too.” 

The next morning, Frank was up before anyone else. He poured himself a cup of coffee, and went to sit on the edge of the dock. He really did wish he could have found a way to do this with Maria and the kids. Take them to a cottage or a cabin by the lake. Make campfires, learn to fish, lie down in a hammock with his wife while Lisa and Frank Jr splashed in the water.

But – and Curtis would no doubt tell him this was a good thing – this kind of wishful thinking no longer seemed to war against the fact that right here, right now, with the Liebermans, but most of all with Karen, he was happy. What a strange feeling that was. It has snuck up on him, and sure, once he had realized it was creeping in, he had fought against it. He still felt like he ought to. Still felt guilty. But he didn’t have the energy to wrench himself away, to throw himself back into a pit of anger and despair. He just wanted to give in. Was ready to cry Uncle, raise the white flag.

_Would you forgive me, Maria?_

He was pulled out of his reverie by the sound of the cottage’s screen door creaking open. Zach stuck his head out and called “C’mon Frank! Karen is making pancakes!”

Evidently, some time had passed while he was lost in thought, because he could now hear the sound of a very awake and busy kitchen coming from the house. Frank drained the last of his coffee, then got up to join the others inside.

Frank spent the morning sanding the deck with David and Leo. Then he spent the afternoon reading in the hammock, swimming with the kids, shooting the breeze with Karen, throwing a football around with Zach.

Shortly before dinner, the Liebermans started getting ready for a party held at one of the other cottages on the lake. They were very apologetic, especially to Karen who was leaving the next day, but they had to abandon their guests for the evening. The event that was held by the neighbours was an annual one, and it was in the cottage’s rulebook that whoever was at the family vacation home at the time of the party had to go represent the rest of the Lieberman clan and keep good relations with the other families around the lake.

Karen and Frank were quick to reassure them that they were not offended at all. They actually got in Karen’s car and went into town to buy some steaks and more beer for dinner. Frank cooked the meat along with some vegetables on the barbecue. Karen set up a little eating area for them on the dock, not wanting to waste any of the short time she had left at the cottage indoors.

They ate watching the setting sun. They could hear the party further up on the lake, and shared a smile. They were happy to have stayed behind. This was more their speed.

When they had cleaned up after their dinner, Karen asked if he’d like to go for a midnight swim.

“It’s not midnight yet.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine, a 9:30 swim, then.”

He could think of many reasons why he should say no. But he found he was unwilling to listen to any of them.

They changed, brought out towels and thick bathrobes to the dock. “Jump on three?” she asked.

“Sure.”

She grabbed his hand and started counting. He couldn’t help himself. He jumped on two, dragging her with him. She sputtered coming back to the surface. “Oh you asshole! You absolute bastard! You’re gonna pay for this.”

He swam away from her to escape her wrath, chuckling under his breath. He could hear her swimming after him, and he dove under the water, changing directions. After a few minutes, he let her catch up to him and try to dunk him. She failed, in no small part because they’d come back to shallower grounds and his feet were now firmly planted on the lake bed, but she was laughing, and then suddenly he realized what an intimate position they were in. Karen was pretty much glued to his back, her arms around his shoulders, her legs wrapped around his in an attempt to get some height on Frank to push him under the water. He could feel her breath on his neck, and suddenly, he _wanted_.

Karen gasped. “Frank! Look up!”

“Holy shit.” The moon was so thin, it hardly gave any light, leaving all the more room for the stars to shine in the cloudless night. It had been so long since he’d seen so many stars, not since his time in the desert on his last tour. “We can see the Milky Way,” Karen whispered in wonder.

They stayed like this for a while, Karen wrapped around him, their heads turned to the sky, until Frank turned around, wanting to look at her and see the expression in her eyes as she admired the tapestry above. Karen didn’t let go of him, but did bring her eyes to his face when she felt his arms sliding around her waist. Her breath hitched, and that did it. Slowly, to give her a chance to back away if she chose to, he pulled her to him and kissed the lake water off her lips. The moan she let out went straight to his groin, and the world started spinning when she slid her hands into his hair to deepen the kiss.

He felt like his heart was going to explode. He loved her. He loved this woman, the way he had only ever loved another one before, and… He wrenched himself from the kiss, laying his forehead against Karen’s, trying to catch his breath, overwhelmed.

It was too soon. How could he? How could he feel like this?

“I’m sorry, Karen. I don’t know if I can… I’m just…”

Karen shushed him, running one hand soothingly along his nape. “It’s okay, Frank. We’re okay.” She tugged lightly on his hair to make him look at her. “Whatever you need, however long it takes, okay? You… You set the pace, here.”

“How is that fair to you?”

“Hush. I’m a very patient woman, you know. Especially when it comes to things worth waiting for.” She got on her tippy toes to kiss his forehead, long and sweet.

This woman. How was she for real? How? How was she able to read into the depths of his soul like that? How was she so quick to understand him? She was a miracle.

“Okay. This was fun, but I think I’m going to turn into an ice cube if we don’t get out of the water soon. C’mon, it’s my last night, I want you to build me a fire!” she said playfully, before starting for the shore.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Thirty minutes later, he was in dry clothes, getting the fire going. Karen came out of the cottage with two glasses of whiskey, and sat in the Adirondack chair next to him, handing him his drink. They could hear the sounds of the party across the lake. “Lake people are real party animals. Who knew?” she joked, stifling a yawn.

Frank suppressed a yawn of this own. They stayed here side by side, in comfortable silence, just sipping their single malt. That was another thing about Karen. He could talk to her about absolutely anything, and yet, when he preferred to stay quiet, there was never any awkwardness to the silence.

After a while, he noticed her breath had evened out, and was not surprised to see she had dozed off, warmed by the fire and lulled by the sound of the frogs singing. He went back to gazing at the fire, wondering when the Liebermans would come home.

Little sparks got up in the air, and merged into fireflies. And then… they were here. He heard them before he saw them. Frankie and Lisa, laughing, chasing fireflies, in that grassy area between the fire pit and the lake. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Maria, in that gorgeous blue summer dress he’d always loved, making her way towards him. He felt a knot forming in his throat, tried to find his voice, tried to find the words. Any words at all.

“I love this place," Maria sighed. "The kids love it too."

She turned her gaze to the children, who were laughing, trying to trap some fireflies in a mason jar.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty great," he agreed, suddenly able to speak to his great surprise, given that all his breath had left him.

"I'm happy for you. _We're_ happy. I'm happy you have this and that you’re doing better." Frank nearly turned his gaze to Karen's sleeping form, but stopped himself, too afraid Maria would disappear if he looked away from her.

"Yeah. They're all more than I deserve. I... I miss you so much, baby. I wish the three of you were here with me."

Maria sat on the arm of the Adirondack chair, and ran her hand through his hair. "I know. We miss you too. But we’re okay. And we need you to be okay, too. We're good, Frank, so you can let us go, now" she said, with a caress to his cheek. “It's time to really say goodbye. You need to let yourself live, Frank. So I'm glad that you have all of these wonderful people in your life. Especially her.”

This time, he did look at Karen. "Yeah,” he replied, around the knot that still had not let go of his throat. “Yeah, she's pretty great. I don't think I'd still be here if it wasn't for her. She… she makes me want to go on."

"Of course, she does,” Maria whispered in that fond, exasperated tone that had always been reserved just for him. "Why do you think we sent her to you?”

Frank woke up with a start. He looked around for a few seconds, disoriented by the dream. Karen was still sleeping at his side, and he felt something stir inside of him. He felt lighter. Whatever that had been, a dream, a hallucination or a visitation, it had left him at peace. He would live. He would love. It’s what he would have wanted for Maria if he had been the one to go. And Maria, Maria had always been too full of love and compassion to wish anything less for anyone.

He heard some stirring inside the house. The Liebermans were finally back. Frank got up, brought the bucket to the lake to fill it up with water and put out the fire, which is when Karen woke up, adorably sleep confused.

“C’mon, lazy bones, let’s get you to bed,” he teased, helping her up and guiding her towards the house.

They made their way to their room, but when Karen dropped herself on the bed, she pulled at his arm to drag him down with her. “Sleep with me?” Frank didn’t reply. He just slipped under the cover with her, neither one of them having the energy to change into sleepwear. She snuggled up to him, tucking her head under his chin, and before he knew it, he was asleep, dreaming of starry skies and blond hair rippling in the water.

The following morning, they woke up slowly, still tangled in one another, and in no rush to move. But soon, nature called, and they had to leave their cocoon. When Frank came back to the room, Karen was dressed, and packing her things. She’d stay for breakfast, then would leave around noon, hoping to get back into the city before traffic got too heavy.

They came down, helped the Liebermans cook a humongous breakfast. After they ate, Karen decided to go for a final swim with Sarah and the kids. Before Frank knew it, Karen was dressed again, packing her car, thanking their hosts, and she, Sarah and David were all exchanging phone numbers and promises to stay in touch. She bid goodbye to the kids, and Frank could swear he saw Zach blush when Karen kissed his cheek.

When it came time for them to say goodbye, Karen gave him a shy smile and a hug. He wanted more. He wanted to say something. But here, in front of the Liebermans, there wasn’t much more he could do but hug her back. The rest, the right words, and the bolder gestures, would have to wait… Or maybe not. Ever so tactful, the family had retreated inside the cottage, something that would have made him roll his eyes only four days ago, but that now filled him with gratitude.

Pulling back from the hug slightly to bring his mouth next to her ear, Frank whispered “Just so you know, I’m done running away from this thing.”

When he pulled fully back to look at Karen’s face, he saw that she had tears in her eyes. Happy ones, judging by the smile that also graced her face. “That’s good,” she replied softly, bringing her forehead to his. “Because I’ve pretty much been running towards it since the day we met.”

They swayed together a moment more before Frank opened the car’s door for Karen. She sat at the wheel, buckled up. He leaned down to take one last look at her.

“See you when you get back?” she asked.

“I’ll come straight home to you.” Karen flashed him her most brilliant smile, and he closed the door, smacking the hood twice in a last goodbye, and she was off.

He watched her car leave until it turned around the bend and was out of sight. That was his future driving away, to wait for him back in the city. And he couldn’t wait to go and find it.

Fin


End file.
